By John Parker, MS, LMFT, SATP, CSA
Trust is a funny thing; it disappears in an instant and yet takes what seems like an eternity to rebuild, especially after sexual betrayal. When sexual addiction walks in the room, dishonesty usually follows closely behind. It is rare to see one without the other. A betrayed partner will feel the pain of infidelity, and that pain is intensified by the lies and manipulation that go along with it. Complete lack of trust is the salt in an already excruciating wound.
Rebuilding trust can be a daunting task for both the addicted person and the partner. Usually a long, arduous process, it does not follow a nicely laid out path. So, what is a couple to do? Can a betrayed partner ever trust his or her addicted loved one again?
Addictions, relationships that don't seem to work, unexplained fears, constant feelings of being different or just not belonging anywhere in this world; these are some of the many things that can stem from childhood trauma or from growing up in a less than functional family. As adults, we sometimes fear that we are stuck with the baggage we ended up carrying from our childhoods. Patterns that we inherited from our families can be so strong that we feel we are doomed to keep playing those patterns out in our adult lives. This is not true.
'Twas the night before the holiday, when all through the house
Every creature was stirring, even the spouse;
Tossing and turning, sleepless with fear,
In hopes that there will be no family drama this year;
Spring is a beautiful time of year to spend time with us in the heart of Sonoran desert. Arizona’s beautiful wildflowers are sprouting to life, and the tops of our saguaro cacti are cover with white blooms.
By Jill Vermeire, MFT, CSAT-S, Willow House at The Meadows Program Director
You might be a Love Addict if:
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